let me intensify the outside for you to nullify the agony in your head drink up, shoot up, snort it all and i'll watch eagerly as your pupils contract, veins constrict as it sets in, and then the concentration, oversaturation of color and sensation, the distortion of time and of your entire reality- isn't this better than dreaming?
on stimulants, everything is wonderful the bricks are beautiful until you hit them the bruises are gorgeous until you remember the pain and even then, they're just colors blooming upon your skin
pause for a moment of clarity retreat from waking reverie and rediscover the mess you're in- an instant almost-sober and everything rushes back like a bullet train and you just want to take that last-
stop don't think like that ignore the impulse enjoy this while it lasts squeeze every drop of euphoria from this you'll be back down soon enough you don't need to jump
sniffle a little now didn't realize your nose was leaking substance trying to escape your voracious appetite inhale violently, hope there's something left -stop grinding your teeth -you didn't even notice you were doing it, did you you weren't conscious of your surroundings until you were knee-deep in this
i've created an addict of you now as he did to me with that single monday, that one high- he stopped, but i couldn't i was hooked and i don't blame him he didn't know my history, my tendency to find escape mechanisms and explore them until it and i are both desecrated and desolate-
i just want to stop feeling for a while- for as long as possible-
the future is irrelevant when you're out of your head it was depressing in there anyways responsibility doesn't exist when you're up in the clouds it's only there when you come down, so why come down at all?
my natural state was lower than this grave.
5/4/13- so this got a daily deviation on deviantart. holy ******* **** yes