Terrified of letting go
I aim for simple things
just focus on my breathing, his eyes
my hand, how it feels
try to remember the summer breeze
try to remember his hug and touch
try to remember burst of happiness

before I have to be by myself
convincing myself to drag on my hallow shell
before I turn to something else for comfort

I am trying to remember
because for once, I had a reason to want to.