I feel tired
The flame inside me is burning out
I'm lacking the motivation to continue
My mind is raging with insecurities and doubt

Sleepless nights
Lying awake at two
Wondering what will become of me
Why is it all I can see is blue?

Why is that I can never be good enough for you?

"You're not trying hard enough."
You don't know anything about me.
You say I'm not giving it my all
But in my efforts I am drowning

Why can't you be nicer to your siblings?
Why? Because you never taught me how to love.
You raised me to fear the consequences
To fear closure and to suspect kindness and all of the above

Unlike me, she is perfect
A flawless figurine
An ideal fit for your mold
Something I've tried my whole life to achieve

The moment she was born she captivated your hearts
Unlike her, I am not a perfect child
I have had to work myself to a breaking point for your praise
All she had to do was smile

I will never be good enough for you
My efforts will all prove worthless
You will never look at me the way you do her
To you, I will always be a disappointment of a person

Sometimes I wonder,
What it is liked to be loved for you
And not for what you can do and not for what you can give
Sometimes I wonder what it's like to not feel so...

alone.