Count to seven

Why seven?

1.
Oh cause it's an odd number
Well I'm already odd
That's why I ******* got here
In the first place

2. Are you an idiot?
I'm sorry, I'm sorry
Yes...
I want to change
But who can prove
I won't change back

3.
I can't think anything
Besides the thing I hate
It's hard to to focus on the hurt it's causing
When I feel so lost without it

4.
I never wanted this for myself
Worrying every moment
About every calorie
If any at all
So desperate that the John becomes my friend
My guilt disappears with a flush
But the guilt of dying
And slowly leaving the ones you love
Stays fresh

5.
It's not getting better

6.
I can't do it by myself

7.
I have to get help