you saw it.
I know you did
I left the door unlocked,
and you walked right in.
I'm not blaming you,
I'm not shaming you,
but you saw it.

that tear.
you said, sorry, my dear
for bothering you,
and I said, no,
it's okay,
just something I'm working through.
I didn't want to talk about it.
But your curiosity hasn't gone away.

I wish I could fill you in
(I wish these walls weren't so paper thin)
but letting you see
that part of me
would be like
letting you into
the dark corner of my mind.
I keep this dark corner of mine
dimly lit and blocked off
from everyone else,
(often even myself).

I closed that chapter,
I ended that darkness.
I pride myself on being bright.
If I let you in there,
it will be too much to bear.
The darkness will seep out,
it will engulf me throughout.
The blackness of that corner
could instantly turn me into a mourner.
I don't know if I could bring back my light.
I pride myself on being bright.

but you saw it.

so now I guess my secrets out
my darkness is creeping about.
I pride myself on being bright
and act as if I'm full of light
because I've seen
how dark morning can be
when you've been demeaned
by the horrors of night.