I said I didn't need you,
that you were okay where you were.
But truth was I wasn't the one that was okay.
I was left with the unknown,
afraid if tomorrow would ever come,
and how many mornings I would get to see.
I lied.
I did need you,
and on the cold hard floor with my bags in front of me,
I dialed your familiar number,
and begged you to come.
What I didn't know was you were already there.
You saw through my mask
and knew me better than I knew myself.
I was too in shock,
and all you cared about was being there,
holding my hand through it all,
and looking at me with those same caring eyes
I have gotten to love these few years.

Though I wasn't there when you were at your absolute worst.
Through I didn't hold your hand when you trying to get better,
thinking more about myself than you in that ugly bed,
with those sad eyes,
and the smile that would not return for months.  
I was there in the before and the after,
but I didn't keep my own promise to you when I said I wouldn't leave,
and because of that I regret each moment you crumbled more and more,
and the light that left your face.
I told myself I would do my hardest to not let it escape again when it came back.

And now here you are,
whispering the words I wish I had said to you in your breakdown,
telling me it will be okay,
and that you love me.
That no matter what happened,
you aren't going anywhere.
A kiss on the lips and I know you are right.
You are my rock,
my solid ground when everything inside of me is falling apart
You are that voice I can listen to when the machines get too loud.
And the song in my head I never want to stop.
In sickness you are here with me.
From every outburst or tear I cry,
to each strand of hair I loose,
and watching the color draining from my face.

I wasn't there when the battles with your own fight got too hard.
When your mind kept playing tricks,
and you didn't know how to make it stop.
And all the nightmares that kept returning,
haunting your every waking moment.

But today,
right now,
that doesn't matter.
We're together and if for some reason I don't make it through to see your eyes in the morning,
I'll spend this moment here and now getting lost in them and you getting lost in mine.