She loves me she loves me not
I wish she'd make up her mind
I keep telling her, that a man like me
Is almost impossible to find

I've told her how good looking I am
And she says, "Yeah whatever you say"
I say, "I know I am but I can't help it"
And that God just made me that way

I even tell her she's getting smarter
But she'll never be as smart as me
I think she understands what I'm saying
She just stands there staring at me

I try to tell her when she's getting fat
You'd think she'd be a little grateful
But no, she just starts calling me names
And saying some things that are hateful

I tell her when her cooking is bad
But she simply can't handle the truth
The last time I told her, she threw a plate
And caused me to chip a tooth

She loves me she loves me not
The petals on this flower come true
I keep telling her that I'm something special
But she just doesn't see it,.... can you?