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Today is not a good day
Today affirmations do not affirm me
Meditation is not mindful
Breath is not counted
Thoughts are not observed and gently let go
Today I am holding on to pain though
Misery is not strength and
I am not strong
Today doubt is king
Insights are blind
Realizations forgotten
Today is not a good day
There is blood on the window
Splattered like the cloacal spray
of some scavenging bird
the rain spreads it into separate
pools...like every drop
is wounded
as the bird that hit the glass
it did not see
flying into reflection
of an unreal sky
I am tired of trying to not die
while dying while trying
I am tired of trying to not cry
while crying while trying
I am not asleep
and the night is slow
with the room's light above
and the darkness below.