Waking up alone was always the hardest part. Going to parties and ***** downtown bars only intensified her loneliness. The stares, the cat calls. Everyone admired her appearance (she was asking for it) but no one wanted to know her. Some days days her loneliness grew into bitterness other days were worst. She would've had a sense of  abandonment if anyone stay in her life long enough to abandon her.

There was a void in her life. A hallow feeling that couldn't be filled with drugs or *** or music. She fell hard and fast for the boys who looked at her in the eyes and talked about ideas and thoughts and opinions. Anyone could be her one and only (she was nobody’s anything). It’s as if someone had a timer on her romantic endeavors and turned it before all the sand hit the bottom. She felt cheated; life was playing a ***** trick.

“We accept the love we think we deserve” she had read in a book once and it had stuck to her brain like magnets to fake jewelry. She found love at nighttime or across state lines and oceans. She found love in the men who could never love her as much as they loved their money or their wives. She found love in the men who only prayed when angels floated up their noses. It wasn't what she deserved but it’s what she got.