When you are upset with me
I feel like I am 2 feet tall.
I cower under your words
And hide from your thoughts.
I don’t want to disappoint you
I don’t want to make you mad.
But I do.
My apologies are sincere
Yet they seem to bounce off of you
As if they do not even exist.
I’m sorry
I’m sorry
It is all I can manage to say
Because I can’t find the desire to say anything else.
I want forgiveness.
From you
From him
From everyone.
I need to hear those words more than anything else
Those three little words.
Please
I’m sorry
I will say it until you know
But with each utterance of the phrase
My body feels more and more hollow
And my chest feels as though it’s caving in
Until my shoulders are hunched
Around my heart
And I am rocking myself back and forth,
Staying in motion to ensure that I don’t
Shrivel up,
Chanting my sorrows
I’m sorry
I’m sorry
I’m so sorry for everything.
I need you to say those words to me
Make everything alright again
Make this hollowing pain cease
At least for a little bit.
It is only three little words
Not that hard to say
But they hold so much power over my mind.
Three words:
I forgive you.
My weakness will forever be my guilty heart.