sitting on the toilet I had another revelation
it’s five pm and today was a little hot
but I guess now that school’s almost
over
and all my troubles are melting
away
my mind is flowing in the weirdest ways
and in the weirdest places

the epiphany was:

the watched *** never boils
the flower gazed upon never blooms
the storm only moves when nobody’s looking
and thus
the boy cannot grow into a man
whilst the cameras track his every
move

back at the computer it seems rather
simple

but I think I know it more than I realize

all my strife and anger is usually do to
others
others who won’t mind their own business
or
others who have right to know what I do
but who I really think should just leave me
alone

I’d be so much greater without the guilt of on-looking eyes

I’d know the guitar, the piano, the sax
I’d write better
I’d be more outgoing, more open-minded
I’d be much more

my music would be louder
my voice would carry further
I would be so much more

Now a days,
I just wilt away like the flower in the heat of the
sun

those eyes burn fear into my back
and I now live hunched over, forever
tending my wounds and planning my
escape