The lights are on but nobody's home. I see it, I feel it and already know, without you, the kids, there'd be no glow. No spark, no light, no warmth inside...you're the only reason that I'll ever even try. Stuck in my head, the bombs going off. Screams of the dying, the cries growing soft, my mouth filling up, the blood makes me cough. That's when it hits me, I feel it every time, the pain wasnt real until the day I tried. I pushed it off, buried it deep...it almost cost my family...it almost killed me. It comes and it goes, no pattern to the tide...I wish it was like the ocean so I could at least keep in time. The ups and the downs, more downs than the ups...seven months away from you and I started to lose touch. Lost my foundation, crumbled at the core...took another hit and my mind took a tour...of all things I buried, not deep enough to hide. You're the only light that I can see from inside...without you, I would never survive.