It won't be like jellybeans
those exuberant pebbles of sweetness
perfect and bright; breadcrumbs leading into
the forest of birthdays, anniversaries, and
what are you doing at threes
it won't be like that

nor those doldrums
those basins of comfort. inescape.
with edges so steep
always pulling you back, for it is just so
known

not those summer days by the river
languishing
the humid heat encompassing you
making you feel close
if not sweltering, straining
from it, against it

it will be a cold winters night
where your breath is not taken from you
but frozen there, in your lungs

this is how it will be