i want to hate her

i want to hate her
because she had you first.
if the roles were reversed
i wonder if she would want to hate me too

i want to hate her
for still being around
and making me feel like the rebound
i wonder if she even knows about me and you

i want to hate her
because she makes me feel so inferior
and not just because of her exterior
i wonder if she's still the one you turn to

i want to hate her
but I know she's the one with the heart ache
when we met, she complimented my hair, for christ's sake
she's so nice I wish I could call her fake
but that would be a mistake.
i wonder if i'll ever get used to
the fact that she's the one i will never be able to outdo.

i want to hate her
but i can't
and that makes me hate
her even more.


*when did i become so pathetic.