I have come to the understanding that it’s an impossibility for another human being to fathom the darkness of my mind.  I can only trust in my infinite creator. Praying that the life He breathed into this mortal body, has served some measure of His divine purpose. Perhaps the births of my children..? I pray He will forgive the rest. How will I exist in depravity with no relent?? I realize that only my savior will reach down and pull me from this pit of muck and mire. My heart is one of stretched empathy for the broken and hurting, knowing, I am in my own prison! Grief and sorrow are my legacy.  I see no enlightenment beyond this moment, this day ..

Oh God where are you?! Am I to stay bound with the links of my own chains.. Oh God, my redeemer! Have you turned your face from me? What sin and shame have I bestowed before you?! How then shall I pray thee? Where will I go from your omnipotence? I cannot,, there is no escape of your love! Waiting to live., to die? Is there forgiveness for me Father?.. I beg of Your merciful kindness, hear me O God..raise my head and lift my heart, My tears have overtaken me.. My eyes are dim Lord., my vision has waned. Ohh Holy God, My Jesus.,, search me in your love and grace.,,Holy Spirit let me know your presence once again. Lest I breathe the dust of the earth. I beseech you my beloved, in your holy magnificence ,..please find me here. Forgive me Lord and let me breathe your life once more.

Even so..,
I will worship You.
I will sing praises to your Name.

Thy kingdom come...
Selah



Written by
Tammy Cocagne
9/23/19
Cry of my heart