the click, the hands, the mouth,
the heavy taste of the liquor
and the heavy weight of the drugs
I never intended to be the grenade
but you never handled me gently
enough to prevent explosion

and in the wake of y(our) carelessness,
the ringing, the shell-shock,
we forgot our names, how
they sounded in each other's mouths.

you tried to hold on, I know, but
my hands hurt too much not to
let go.