I thought love was when you made me hot tea in the morning because I was sick

I thought love was how you stocked up on tissues because you found out I had allergic rhinitis

I thought love was when you hugged me in your sleep, without knowing that I was awake and silently crying

I thought love was your commitment to waiting for me, being patient with me knowing that I was not in an easy state

I thought love was the way you dealt with my intoxicated breakdowns

Man, the list could go on because I honestly thought maybe love was all the things you did that I wasn't used to because you made me feel that for once, the stars finally aligned in my favor

but you were just in a phase of infatuation while I was in a phase of breaking down walls, learning to accept the "love" I was never used to.

Real love, my dear is how I am hurting;
is knowing I deserve better
but still wishing you were the better that I deserved.

I miss you
I should stop
but real love doesn't just go away so quickly
which is why I'm left to wonder
why you're so okay with losing me

I guess that just means you never loved me.