I feel more clear, as of late
less bogged down by fear and dread
excited for the future?
maybe not
but wildly curious

my love and I decided
over a late-night conversation
built on months of worry and sadness
something rather heavy

we had always wanted to be parents
wanted to have children
compulsory, partly
society expects that of people like us

but here is the problem
you would not invite a friend,
more than a friend
someone you supposedly love more
than anything else in the universe
a love you don't understand
but that overwhelms you
and fills your heart with that mysterious
knowledge that you would absolutely die
to save this little person

you would not invite that person to a house
you know is going to burn down around you
why would you do that
you know that house is going to burn down
you know who is going to do it
you know how this is going to end

why then would you invite them?

I know that I would love my children more than
the universe and all the stars
that is why
in a decision frought with heartbreak
we have decided to save them
from this burning house
to let them be in the peace of nonexistence
safe, forever, from the fate of this world