"Synergy"

The synergy of life and death often destroys my soul's calmness of being.

Mind you, factually,
it is not my own death,
nor my own mortality that stirs
bewilderment and melancholy within me.

It is the road ****,
the spider on your wall.

The baby bird that has fallen from its nest.

The ant in the path of your rapid gait on the sidewalk.

The meat that I selfishly indulge upon.

The innocent murdered,
aborted children.

The sea life that mysteriously washes up upon our shores.

My dilemma?

I genuinely take it personal that I can not save any and all.

Is this a Jesus Christ complex?

I'm not sure what it is!

What I know is that every day of my existence,  
I torture my own soul for not comforting a dying soul.

This IS a genuine emotion that lives within this man's soul.

I mean, I am so[ooooooo] flawed and imperfect - a natural born sinner.

But alas,
I am the soul that only wants to share smiles, hugs and my unconditional love with those that not tread upon evil.

I stand and kneeling confused, in front of my Lord and Savior Jesus Christ with all due respect about the synergy of life and death.

I say that I am tired of torturing myself over this part of life that I absorb ever so deeply every waking moment of my life but....

if tomorrow is given?
Tomorrow I shall take and live.

Albeit wounded,  yes!

But perhaps like these words, Jesus wants me here to move friend or foe.

"EoP"