the icy winter air wraps herself around us
as we linger outside, smoking your Camels,
& there’s a relief in the tension when we’re alone.



here, I like you best ‘cause you don’t care.
here you like me best ‘cause no one has to know.
I take a last long drag  & turn to go inside.

but you grab my hand  & suddenly
all of the unsaid becomes physical…
& my heart jumps, only to be thrown

to the ground, sooner or later
when you close back up.
probably tomorrow,

probably when i need you most
I hate you.
but most of all,

I love you.