I am sick today,
So sick that I feel I haven’t been right in the head
For a long time.
All I had to eat yesterday was oatmeal
That made me want to *****.
Then I drank malt liquor.
I still had some of my 40oz
When I left my friends apartment
But I didn’t even want to finish it.
I took one last drink
And threw the bottle out my window
As I drove out the parking lot.
This morning I took my dog to the vet;
He’s just had surgery and needed a check up.
Shortly after I started driving
He fell awkwardly against the side of the car,
******* himself,
Rubbing it into himself and the car
In the process,
So I pulled over,
Lifted him out of it,
And laid him down on the opposite side of the car.
He looked at me the whole time,
Seeming confused,
Asking about his agony.
At the vet he needed to be carried in.
Inside, I laid him on the floor in front of me
Where he trembled in pain.
The news played
And the women laughed with each other
Like it was scripted
And like they didn’t
Know how to act.
Something was asking to leave my gut,
Either out of my *** or mouth
It didn’t care,
But there were no bathrooms
So I sat on the wood bench
Listening to small dogs yapping down the hallway
And the receptionist returning missed calls
With a rehearsed cadence, lilt, and message,
And started sweating.
I called in sick to work.
The wound reopened
And now he needs another surgery.
As the veterinarian explains this to me
He seems dejected
But still recommends further surgery.
I hope my mom will have heart enough to **** him
And not keep the kind of hope
That merely prolongs suffering.
I don’t want to hear more
Of anything in the world right now.
I want to sit on my couch
And wait out my sickness.
On the way home,
While stopped at a red light,
An old women rear ended me slightly,
Although enough to make the old boy
Try to stand up in a fright.
I look in the rear view mirror and she seems not to notice
So I pretend I didn’t either
And drive home
To clean up the ****
In my backseat.