taste, swallow, bring it back up,
stomach remains empty & you
still feel light. ***** but somehow
satisfied to have cheated the moment
& your weakness for a split second

this provokes a rapid heartbeat &
a nonchalant shame that you couldn’t
explain to anyone, ever, even if the
scars on your knuckles already
speak volumes of what you are

& she spits out fire & you know
this dance has been going on for
far too long yet the song never ends
& she keeps cutting in when you’ve
only just begun making introductions

sitting in the back of your thoughts,
making faces like she’s got a pocket
full of immortality elixir when you
know she’s only selling deathly ****.
(stuff that goes down too smoothly)

but you’ll taste some of that too
& empty out your insides once more.
as you do,
as you do.