If I am an attention seeker, let me carve the words into myself like a label, a definition of a four-lettered name. I am more than nights of spinning and contemplating, razor in my hand, moving like a silver dancer through my fingers, but there it is, tracing my veins as a pencil traces paper, drawing patterns up and down my arms in permanent red paint. Let me tie a hairband around my wrist and snap it until my veins fashion welts, red over blue on placid skin, vines through to my fingertips, thorns under my nails with ****** red blooms like cigarette burns. Let me cry underneath street lamps, audible to the world, open and vulnerable like the new cuts on my skin.