now he's nothing but a death certificate
empty beer bottles; liquor store receipts
traces of the life unlived

nothing but the knife under his pillow where he always kept it
old photographs of a stranger and his dog tags around my neck
rust on his motorcycle
his wasted brilliance, his weak heart

i forget for a moment that he's gone
and it comes rushing back and just like that I lose him again
and again.
and again.