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Boaz Priestly
Poems
Sep 2019
after hours
my sorrow is a monster
ten feet tall
all beady eyes and
teeth sharper than razor blades
nipping at my heels
i cannot run fast enough
to evade this black wave
that has only grown with me
nestled up against my ribcage
like vines crushing the life from
a once mighty tree
covered in all these hurts
but it wasn’t always this way
some monsters aren’t
just the way they are
some monsters are made
and this monster was nurtured
a catalogue of things i can’t fix
things i can’t change
things that were done to me
and there’s only so much
i can drink
only so many painkillers
i can swallow
before i feel nothing at all
my sorrow is not my friend
these claws only know how to
rend and tear
never knowing a touch that
was anything other than cold
this choke-chain i hold
in my shaking hands
hardly seems like enough to
contain such a beast
and i don’t want to be
like my parents
i don’t want to be
like you, lover boy
drowning my sorrow in
whatever i can reach
my sorrow will not
make me as monstrous
as this darkness so
often feels
Written by
Boaz Priestly
27/Transgender Male
(27/Transgender Male)
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