You never believed in happy endings
A life lived clean
Was never in the cards for you
Your hands smear stains of blood and dirt
Into clothing layered with so much of it
You wonder if that’s all it is anymore
You wonder at how your heart holds together
With all of the pieces torn out of it
But it’s mended with alcohol, sewing kit sutures
And sheer force of will.
You are so tired of blood
You are so tired of being weighed down
By the force of your past
But it’s all you’ve ever known
And sometimes you wonder what it’s like
To look to the future
And hope.