you’re walking down the sidewalk with bare feet and the sky is red and overcast and it’s cold
you clutch your keys and phone closer to your chest and tuck into yourself, picking up the pace to get to your car faster
you feel inadequate and alone and as the heat seeps out through the soles of your feet into the concrete, you begin to feel numb
you can hardly breathe and the knots in your chest begin to tighten again
you were never good enough you were never deserving you will never be any of these things
you ache and you ache and you wish things were different but they’re not and all you can stand to do is get into your car and drive away
and you hope that wherever you end up, the skies aren’t red at night and boys have brown eyes, not blue, and you never wake up in a cold bed with a feverish desire to run away