Here I am back to this lonely hole, an empty white page
it is so comforting, so familiar
yet I cringe at the pain and the throbbing memories
that pump through my veins and rebuild themselves

I've wanted for so long to be loved like no other,
No comparison, no second thoughts
No doubt
Only love

I've longed for someone who understands without the whisper or scream
One who seeks comfort in my silence
One who grasps how contagious and infectious
and how ******* destructive my mind can be

One who understands the duplication of these cancerous thoughts
that lurk about the sunshine as it bleeds through the window and screams on the radio
all hoping for new beginnings and some sort of happiness
Changing your never ending path that you continue to walk

This path in which I walk has only been filled with traps and holes
I fall and get caught, and try to scrape off the dirt and deal with the pain
I want to be hopeful and believe in something more,
something so much more than these bitter disappointments

I tell myself not to dwell, this is a constant reminder
not to constantly acknowledge the ghosts that lurk and follow
upon the path at which I walk.
I tell myself that I have to be okay with walking this path alone
That good things come to those who wait,
or maybe that too is a trap

I am filled with so much doubt, running in a circle
like a mouse ignorant of the box in which it is contained
constantly running down this never ending path.