you tried at 15 by overdosing on a combination of
prescription pills your mother hoarded in her cabinet
when your mother found you on the floor,
the only thing she could do
was call you pathetic and get mad at you
for taking her pills without asking.

you tried again at 21, pills again
your brothers threw you in the backseat of their car, dragged you to
emergency, and gave you a mouthful of charcoal
before you had the chance to tell them
whether you were sorry
or not.

that was then, and this is now
and one of us are bound to die
before the other one has a chance to say
sorry
or not.
I hope you let it be
me.