i don’t look
like i’m crying
when i cry.
i’d rather die
than have to try
to explain it.
i’m not worth
most of the compliments
i receive.
the people around me
say too much
without talking
and for me
it’s the opposite
and i can’t seem
to get the right words out
so i keep blubbering on
about how
nobody will ever love me
when they have
but too fast
they fall away
like they were never there
from the start.
i am lost in myself.
chained down
to me.
and i think
i’m ready to be freed.
but that’s a journey
i will be making
by myself
because self love
is so evident
to an onlooker.
and i want to be seen
with it on.