scared. alone. being thrown into an environment that you aren’t even the slightest bit familiar with is ******* scary. all you want is a bear hug from your best friend but she is dealing with her own personal pain. you’re totally alone. you’re panicking silently on the bathroom floor, crammed in a corner, pressing your head against your knees trying to stop shaking, digging your fingernails in the back of your neck trying to get your mind off the stress and anxiety. nothings working. those thoughts and words of rejection and judgement run rampid through your mind. “you’re a failure” “you can’t do this” “you’re wasting your time trying” ”you’ll never be good enough” “they’re only being nice because they have to”. you start to think they’re right. maybe you should just get use to the fact that you’re going to end up alone, abandoned. “you aren’t important, no one’s going to accept you. maybe that’s just what destiny has in store for you. might as well realize that.” i guess it’s just you and yourself again. it’s a familiar feeling to you so it only takes you two seconds to realize that you’re back to the drawing board.