alone in the bathhouse
i have the pools
hot cold warm herbal
all to myself
lying in the warm pool
water just about body temp
ninety-eight point six
i lay myself down
and let myself drown
a moment
lost in the gentle un-feeling of wet
ninety-eight point six
as it was in the beginning
only to rise again
back to the surface
through the membrane
into the light
into new life
and float
free
and gone
no sensation
weightless
perfectly balanced
only sound the muted
***th-thump
th-thump
th-thump***
of my slowed heart beating
in my drowned ears
the dull steady rhythm of life
eyes closed
floating
lost in dark nothing
lulled away by the pulse of creation
floating forever free
*gone
gone
gone beyond
gone utterly beyond*
form and function left behind
anchors in the warm water
tethering me to some distant memory of existence in
ninety-eight point six
letting go
letting it all go
drifting away