I stare at this blank paper
Thinking what to write.
My mind is filled with thoughts of you.
But I can never tell you.
How I really feel.
I moved away without a choice;
Here and you or there and no one.
They made me leave without goodbye.
You won't read this message.
I tried to fly but I fell, they laughed at my tears.
My eyes are glazed
My wrists are cut,
I'm crying in my room.
I haven't felt much since I left:
Sadness, loneliness, hate.
I wonder if you think of me,
Or if you forgot the memories that we made.
The stories that I shared.
Now I'm here in this loud place
Wishing I was there.
The only way I see you
Are in my dreaming hours.
I feel more alive in my head
Then I do in life.
The days are cold, the nights are colder.
I shiver head to toe.
I can't feel much anymore:
Cold, numb, tired.
My dreams are better than my days
Even if they end, I wonder if there is a way
To stay asleep forever.
I wish to see you again
But then I remember why
Why we talk no more
Why we stopped the hellos
But I know deep in my heart
I still wish to see you.
I don't want to feel.

-3nwlry