I'm feeling lonely. Try to reach out to u but you far away with out a  trace you seem me crying though out the night why u left me. Why u couldn't lift me up when I need you the most now you got me looking like I haven't eating in years. My mind is not the same because you abuse my train of thoughts with your insecurities now you gone  and I'm the one who partaken with those self esteem problems. Everyday I sit in my room Wondering if u going call rocking back and forth to the sound of the rain hoping you come back *** I DNT think im going find a love like u , but wait was. Tht love? I'm starting to think maybe it wasn't I mean my MoMA didn't tell about love and daddy well I didn't know him so maybe it wasn't love maybe i was getting mistreated *** I didn't know my worth. Tht I'm a queen and  you should had treating me as a beautiful lady tht I am but you didn't I got these scars to prove it you beat me day and night for 15 years  call me ugly when I dress up to only to come home with a srry card and the mental and physical abuse will continue. Itell you to go  but 5 min later call back.smh why why why I was doing this to myself . But I'm writing you my first love or wat I think is my first to say thank you.  I'm woke I'm happy and I can tell you first hand i do really feel sorry for you and I hope your seed u put in me doesn't grow up hating himself *** the color of his skin because I saw u one day with a white girl and heard u treat her better and  word on the streets she only there for tht fetish but hey it time for u to be a fool.  karma is so sweet when it comes around.