It doesn't feel real
Life flickering by
A overly excited candle flame eager to burn unaware of the pending darkness coming to sallow every inch of its beautiful light

It still doesn't feel real
The boy in my nightmares don't look like you but  feels like you the same hands pining and pulling, chaining me to you forever
forever your victim
Same scent smothering me as I am begging for it to end

It will never feel real
There is no surviving it  
In the middle of the night you will feel his cold hands creeping around your waist slipping underneath you
Leaving ghostly bruises
Squeezing eyes shut reminding yourself he is not here

You are safe
But he is
He's in your mind
He made his home out of fear and insecurities  
Windows made from your tears
Walls from the bruises kissing your skin
You are his home now

There is no life after this
No white ******* knight
No *******  hero
No ******* sweet boy or girl
that will come and build you back up.





To make you whole again