"Fifteen miles as the crow flies"
So let's break this down.
You're telling me that a crow
cruising a straight line
at 30 miles per hour
will take a half hour
to reach the tree.
Well I'm cruising at about 70,
got a detour for construction on I-90,
some snail farmer in a combine
thinks now is the right time
to hit the county roads,
and I gotta drop down
to 20 because the paint
and the rise say passing
is no bueno, and he ain't
waving me by.
The crow,
on the otherhand,
is getting mobbed
by eastern kingbirds
not liking his shadow
on the nests.
And yes, that bloated
skunk is fine feast
for a crow flying
as a crow flies,
hopping to a fence
when the implements
pass tall and reptilian.
Given that and some quick
calculations based
on what I remember
from my high school
geometry class -
Pythagorean Theorem
and all that -
the crow and I
should arrive
at precisely the same time,
******* and hungry.