I always tell myself
That being sad is stupid
And to live in the present and smile
And hide the feelings inside

But it feels good to feel sad
It feels pure to recognize raw
Feels right to feel wrong
And that’s the scary part

Because I want to believe I want to be happy
Yet again and again I drag myself down
Into the depths of my own mind
Just to wallow some more
Just because I can

Because I love it
Because I want to feel the tears roll and the
Cuts hurt
I want to feel the beating in my chest pound
Thump thump thump
Its telling me
I’m still alive