i'm always sedate in the darkness
catching that divine lethargy
and comforted in pitch black

however, this meditation is an ******
smoldering my spirit, snuffing out the energy

sunlight rejuvenates me like most
i can't cut it out like the rest
i've bathed in it, loved it
but its grating radiance pummels

wringing me dry

so in my walls i've made a hole
when i want the world,
or need its warmth
i expose myself

i cherry pick the rays of my contemporaries to shine through
when i need them
i plan the breaths i take out in the open, casting myself outward
when i need to

but this false balance toppels often
i either crave the sun's unrelenting healing
or the serenity of isolation
considering which i idolize more at the time

maybe my feet corrupt the soil,
'cause i can walk back and forth through this wall and the grass is always greener on the other side

only until i observed a model out in the world did i realize balance requires dual embrace

barriers need breaking
to dissolve their disillusion

the model bored so many holes in their borders that they cohered into a giant window

it seemed to defy their house
but the framework still stood
and the model lived at peace
merging the dark and light

i asked the model why his window was so big, and he said

"I’m trying to be more direct. In the past, characters would kind of show up, like, ‘This is what’s going to happen to them.’ And there’s a vague connection to something that I’ve gone through. It’s a way of evading responsibility for being like, ‘This is what I’m feeling and this is what I’m doing.’"