There are some days where I am the most boring person I’ve ever known.
I wake up sick, after drinking until late in the morning,
And all that goes through my brain is the amount of money
I lost gambling the night before;
Just the figures,
What I lost to whom,
Over and over again.
Then I lay around my moms house
Watching dumb videos on YouTube
Just to be doing something.
It is a horrible way to spend your time
And I wouldn’t recommend it to anyone.
For the last hour new thoughts have come into my head.
I’ve been thinking about when I should drink my first beer.
I know I should at least do something first,
Anything productive,
But I don’t.
I need to get new shoes,
Soap, shaving cream, and toothpaste
But I don’t.
I don’t even brush my teeth.
And I think about that,
And how the restaurant I work at has been closed for plumbing
For the last 4 days
And I’ll I’ve done is drink
And gamble.
I think about how this is no way to take care of myself -
I would never do this to someone else -
Yet here I am
And I don’t care.
So I pour myself a beer
And the taste in my mouth alone
Starts relieving the sickness in my gut
And adds a little levity to my brain,
Allowing me to write this.