Anger Issues

A wall of fire built around my frame
A place to run and hide
A place I feel no shame
My minds racing
And my mental state is going wrong
I hide behind my shield
I've lived here for so long
I know it's unhealthy
And I shouldn't hide
But when the pain becomes too much
I give myself up to my anger and I just abide
I don't know what's wrong
Or what to do
I just run so fast
My family's worried for me but if they only knew
I want to get help
But I'm too ashamed
So when someone is in trouble
I'll get blamed
Because my first defense
Is to get mad
But when I have no fight left
All I get is sad
I hate it so much