I could stand  here and tell you about my faith in God,
about letting go of your sins,
your troubles, and worries.
I could tell you about how great God is
or about his never ending love or
about his forgiveness that knows no bounds.
But in all honesty it would mean nothing.
Zip.
Absolutely nothing
Because in all honesty, I don’t believe in it
I believe in God,
I believe the teachings of Christ are true,
I know all of God’s promises are true.
But I don’t truly believe in them.
My faith is too little
I often doubt the depths of God’s love
I often wonder if he could ever forgive me for the things I do,
the things I say,
the things I think
I hold onto my sins so tightly, I honestly don’t know what I would do without them
I don’t know how to let go of my sins and give them up to Christ
I struggle with the thought of bowing before God
I struggle with the thought of bowing before the cross
I struggle with the thought of Jesus dying on the cross for my sins
I struggle with Jesus loving me
I struggle,
I doubt,
I sin,
I anger God,
I disappoint God,
I disobey God,
I am an adulterous of God
But, I do know one thing
God does love me
Jesus willingly died on the cross for me
He sees how I hurt others
He sees how I hurt myself
He sees my deepest, darkest, dirtiest thoughts
He sees the darkest part of me
And he still accepts me as his child
He still loves me
He still wants me
He still cares for me
He still looks out for me
He loves me
I don’t understand why
I don’t know how
But he loves me
I have a long road ahead of me
I have a lot of issues in my life that I need to let Jesus handle
I don’t know how
I don’t even know when
But I know I am in God’s hands and I know he is with me,
he is for me,
and will never forsake me