this one's to you.
to the giant rolls of fat that make up my midsection.
beneath my torso
and above my thighs.
i don't recall ever being fond of you
i never loved you.
but i have to learn
since i've had you for years now
and no amount of diet and exercise
can seem to rid you of me.
i don't want you there
at least, not on me.
i tell people all the time
how beautiful they are
regardless of their pants size
but then i look down
and hate my own.
i've lost some weight, sure
and i'm so, so, so happy about it.
but i have to learn to love you.
you're soft
and warm
and a really nice pillow, i've heard
but you're also a sign of an easy target
it's because of you i've been hurt in the past
people see a fat person and think
"oh, they'll do anything for attention"
"anything for love."
well
they're wrong
and they're right.
i crave love
but hate attention.
i have someone now
who pacifies both
and who calls me beautiful
and truly believes it
but they still want to see me live as long as they
inevitably will.
i'm sorry it's so hard to love you
i just wish
that you were a little smaller.