i linger too much on the exhale
my eyes get lost in space
table and the desk are unfocused
and i choke and i squint.

i wake up with ancient stomach aches
slow and deliberate and warm
and subtle i might say
not like someone's poking me.

there's death in my mouth
dozed off again without
following proper hygiene
i watch old dreams drift off.

air pushes down on me
i'm not who i want to be
a war against gravity
is to breathe in.

let me fill in the boxes for you
get me my crayons, get the blue
get the red and yellow
and i will mix in some pretty lie.

get me the critics
i want a deeper look into my heart
i want cyber conversations
with the soon to be dead.

find me crossfires of too old
to be this way parents
and crossed eyes of unintentional
interruptions of voice.

and how could some vibration
not faster than a color
become a rusty old wrench
and break me in half?

but a dog barks outside
cars whizz on by, honking sometimes
breakfasts still make metal noises --
you'll brush your teeth later.