(first of all i'd like to inform you of the fact that my mother didn't die in an unfortunate way although everything about her departure was unfortunate and before it's time she didn't die of breast cancer or in a car accident or whatever no, she's one of the few rare breeds that this earth has been blessed with... she's one of the mothers that leave)
1. if you don't have a mom you probably have come to the realization that you are never going to have nice socks or even clean ones ever again
2. you probably don't eat a lot if your mother was the cooking type you probably eat mostly hungryman's and hot pockets also you'll probably die a premature death because of it
3. if you don't have a mom you will be suddenly aware of all the **** you leave lying around for like months and never touch until you break your ******* face on it
4. you probably have discovered that talking to your dad about boys usually isn't a good idea it gives him the strange urge to grease up his shotgun make sure that's all in fine working order sit on porches waiting also give total crap advice about all of it
5. if your mother has left you you've probably realized that you're looking for a new one that suddenly your friend's mom takes over where she left off like some sick network but it's not really sick sometimes it's kind of nice you get soup an' **** and those awkward bonecrushing usually choking mom hugs
6. your dad has probably tried learning to cook he's probably almost killed you more times than you can count on two hands but every once in a while he hits gold on total accident
7. if you're a motherless child you probably do your own laundry or wear the same clothes for four months until you drag your sorry *** to the laundry mat
8. if you're a motherless child you've probably pondered the fact that you sorta wanted both your parents at your future wedding but you'd tell mom to ******* at the drop of a hat
9. if your mom left you rather unconventionally (thanks, 1960's. didn't do **** for me) you probably pretend a lot: pretend to be ok with her pretend to want to tell her about your life painfully so she can tell all the million other single moms who left their husbands (sometimes for good reason) that her kid is smart although she hates your guts oh well it's the thought that counts (wait...)
10. if your mom has abandoned you you've probably sobbed a lot hit a lot of walls slammed a lot of doors kicked a lot of ******* bookshelves pounded floors stifled screams into pillows tossed turned flailed plugged your ears slit your arms open bit your fingernails blamed it on your dad once or twice smashed your head onto hard stuff trying to forget that feeling of wholeness spent a lot of time thinking about home and how it used to be and then cut some more if your mom has left you robbed you broken you lied to you spit on you smacked you discredited you then you're probably a lot like