tell him / hurry now, child / you can do it / three more steps / clear your throat / be timid / quiet / controlled / say what you need him to hear / he must know / don't back out now / you've spent years agonizing / look him in the eyes / no! / chicken out / yet again / run back to your room / close the door / sob / sink to the ground / the door can't be opened now / reach into your wallet / there it is / shining / pick it up / it's ice ******* cold / the gleam is inviting, though / turn it the right way / glide it across your too-fat arm / it's all going to be quiet soon / it will come to an end / and for your final act / pray