Hey how was your day? It was ok I guess
I don’t know what else to say
Or how else to describe the “normal” day
In the life of someone who just wants each day to pass
Smoothly and quietly so I won’t suffer any more
Because my head is spinning outta control
And I...I hate to admit but it’s taking its toll
To the point where I’m always “tired” and becoming a bore.
What is reality and what is fiction
Cloud my head and my thoughts
And I can’t feel anything but remorse
Because I’m losing traction towards my mission
Of being the best that I can be.
Wanna go to the beach today?
I wish I could but I don’t know what to say
And how to say it so I tell y’all that I wanna flee
Because I’m too busy and I’m too tired.
I tried telling y’all what that means to me
But no matter how hard I try, y’all just disagree
And believe that I’m nothing but just a coward
But the truth is my “tiredness” and “busyness” are overwhelming
And I feel like I can’t keep on going
Or living the life I’m living right now because not knowing
What life will bring me the next second is numbing.
Y’all think I was lying when I say that I’m busy
And the truth is...yea I am lying
I’m not lying about being busy though; I’m dying
And what’s going on in my head is making me dizzy.
I’m busy in ways that many people don’t understand:
I’m busy breathing deeper
My heart is racing like a NASCAR driver
And I’m busy calming it down and
I’m busy telling myself every day and night
And every moment that I’m okay.
Deep down I’m searching for the words to say
To my friends and family that I’m alright
But I’m screaming on the inside
Because I’m done hiding from all y’all
And I’m done feeling so damn small.
I’m gonna take every stride with pride rather than run and hide
From my fears and demons because I have so much pride
In the person I have become
And I’m done feeling numb
So I decide to not be denied
From reaching my dream to provide
Happiness and laughter worldwide
Alongside taking care of those who think why’d
Nobody is taking care of us but I’ll stand up say I’d
Dear diary,
How was my day?
Oh you know...
The usual.