Mar 2013
This pain encompasses me;
it envelopes me; it surrounds me.
It follows me with each step
that my foot it does make;
it belabors me with each beat
of my heart it does take.
It shadows me even on
the cloudiest of days;
it reminds me with each memory
that my mind recreates.
Your face exists
in my dreams now.
It haunts my thoughts,
each passing day.
Memories of our love
still linger in my heart.
The feelings we once shared
are now only one-sided.
I don’t know how to forget you,
even though I know I should.
This mental anguish, alone,
causes me indescribable hurt.
This hurt torments me,
as flashbacks of our
times together continually taunt me –
constantly reminding me of how
truly happy we once were.
I begin to lose control of my emotions –
sobbing, shaking uncontrollably.
Each night before I slumber,
I pray to God that he grant
me some hours of peace,
as all parts of my being
are so exhausted, anymore.
But, this pain finds me,
even while I try to rest.
My once safe haven,
now discovered,
is only filled with nightmares.
I barely survive each day.
I feel like an empty shell;
a lost soul walking around,
in circles, with no end in sight.
Circles with no meaning, nor purpose,
in life, other than to
repeat the same cycle,
over and over again.
How do I break free of this insanity?
Even though my judgment is clouded,
the only thing I can be certain of,
is that I must find a way to survive this.
I must take the time to heal;
I must not give into the temptations
of loneliness, as misery
tends to love company.
I need to realize that
true mending of my spirit
must be done on my own.
This is when I truly learn
my own strengths, and weaknesses.
I have been in this place before,
and I found my way out of the abyss.
Even though the path was dark,
at first, the longer I climbed ,
the closer to the surface I got.
At times, I slipped and fell downwards,
but, my desire to desperately
depart this darkness,
burnt so intensely within.
This fire, of true conviction,
was the only light that
helped me reach the surface.
This pain will ease one day.
I know I must believe,
as hard as it may be to do so.
This pain will have no control
over me, unless I give it thee.
One day, the source of the pain
will be forgiven by me;
however, this pain will never
be truly forgotten, indeed.
But, instead, it will become
another lesson learned
along this journey called life.
Vicki A. Zinn
March 8, 2013
it envelopes me; it surrounds me.
It follows me with each step
that my foot it does make;
it belabors me with each beat
of my heart it does take.
It shadows me even on
the cloudiest of days;
it reminds me with each memory
that my mind recreates.
Your face exists
in my dreams now.
It haunts my thoughts,
each passing day.
Memories of our love
still linger in my heart.
The feelings we once shared
are now only one-sided.
I don’t know how to forget you,
even though I know I should.
This mental anguish, alone,
causes me indescribable hurt.
This hurt torments me,
as flashbacks of our
times together continually taunt me –
constantly reminding me of how
truly happy we once were.
I begin to lose control of my emotions –
sobbing, shaking uncontrollably.
Each night before I slumber,
I pray to God that he grant
me some hours of peace,
as all parts of my being
are so exhausted, anymore.
But, this pain finds me,
even while I try to rest.
My once safe haven,
now discovered,
is only filled with nightmares.
I barely survive each day.
I feel like an empty shell;
a lost soul walking around,
in circles, with no end in sight.
Circles with no meaning, nor purpose,
in life, other than to
repeat the same cycle,
over and over again.
How do I break free of this insanity?
Even though my judgment is clouded,
the only thing I can be certain of,
is that I must find a way to survive this.
I must take the time to heal;
I must not give into the temptations
of loneliness, as misery
tends to love company.
I need to realize that
true mending of my spirit
must be done on my own.
This is when I truly learn
my own strengths, and weaknesses.
I have been in this place before,
and I found my way out of the abyss.
Even though the path was dark,
at first, the longer I climbed ,
the closer to the surface I got.
At times, I slipped and fell downwards,
but, my desire to desperately
depart this darkness,
burnt so intensely within.
This fire, of true conviction,
was the only light that
helped me reach the surface.
This pain will ease one day.
I know I must believe,
as hard as it may be to do so.
This pain will have no control
over me, unless I give it thee.
One day, the source of the pain
will be forgiven by me;
however, this pain will never
be truly forgotten, indeed.
But, instead, it will become
another lesson learned
along this journey called life.
Vicki A. Zinn
March 8, 2013
