i found that you are my great big love

these are usually decisions i make myself,
roles i assign to innocent boys,
but you have filled this position regardless of my objections;
though i don’t really have any.

you have become the beat-up sneakers
that are strewn in the hallway of your house,
white and *****,
fraying at the edges

you have become the stuffed animal i bought you,
which you hold every night in your sleep
and i love the ****** bear almost as much as i love you

i see you in your sweater that hangs on the back of my chair;
i am almost too scared to wear it,
to defile its essence as something that belongs to you,
but i can not help but bury my face in it from time to time.
it is like a little pocket of you i can carry
whenever you are not with me

you are the books i lend you,
ones i now associate with the words falling from your lips,
upon which i trip;
you speak beautifully about books,
and though i struggle to keep up,
it is a soft fall that i endure,
one i will gladly endure.

you are a playlist i made
of songs that lay a roadmap of our love,
songs that remind me of different points in relationship,
though you nearly always plague my mind;

it has come to a point where everything
that happens to coincide with your presence in my life
is inherently you;
the joy i possess is you,
the warmth that swarms my body is you,
the smile tugging at my lips

and i love finding you everywhere,
because this is exactly where you belong.
in every corner of my room, of my own skin,
you are proudly displayed;
because you are my great big love, my dear,
and this is exactly where you belong.