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Jul 2019
May not be home
But it’s where I’ll go
Where the wind keeps howling on
Crying out to the birds and the stones
Ain’t it time that we roll these bones
Hear me calling out to you
Turn these lights down low
See the suns not out no more
But the moon holds us close
You keep calling and calling and calling
But the universe never replies
Calling out names of these people you read about
Literature selling you lies
Think for one second
Just try to exist, don’t forget that we still have time
To rewrite the books, but not about god
To be who you want, tonight
Maybe we’re special, but maybe we’re not
Maybe I’m hopeless, and maybe you’re lost
Maybe the wine you drank isn’t the wine
You want, but you got it for free so *******
It’s not about glamour, it’s about nobility
You to be you, and just to be real to me
Tonight, I’ll say it tonight
What the **** do you feel, what’s on your mind
How’s it going? You feeling alright?
You want a drink? Is everything fine?
Asking all them questions
Why’s it so upsetting
Oh, baby, you alright?
What the **** have I done
What did I do
Why isn’t everything going as smooth
It’s ky, but it’s fire and ice
What the **** did I say that wasn’t nice
Oh right it’s all in my mind
I’m steadily losing my ******* rights
To a disease
The internal kind
Maybe depression but I call it life
Hi, how are ya?
My names Keenan
I’m just the janitor, here, see me sweeping
The floors to the ******* ceiling
With your daughter, **** stuck in her *** pig squealing

I’m sorry, back to the rhymes
The yin and the yang, in and outs of life
Gnawing away at my heart and mind
Screaming I just can’t do right
Be perfectly honest
Be balanced and humble
But if you **** up
You’re going to crumble
Your character, it doesn’t flatter me
What the ***** going on, why you mad at me?
I don’t know what to do this time
Is somebody listening, hand me a sign
Oh not my own, it doesn’t feel kind
Sinister left handed crick in my spine
I think all the ******* time
With a bottle in one hand, a smoke in my right
Which vice, I cannot decide
Which one of you will be driving home tonight?

May not be home but it’s where I’ll go
Where the wind keeps howling on
Seeding the answers we didn’t ask for
Or gave nothing more than a thought
Who do I want to be
What do I want to need
Why is everything so ******* unclear to me
Tell me now
A frontal lobotomy
It feels like something is ripping inside of me

Take it out, take two, let’s start over
Maybe this time I’ll try to stay sober
Lower the voice, and make a choice
As a boy, didn’t your mother teach you
how to outwit this noise
I can’t sift through the words left on read
It fills my head up with dread
Turn to the music, just anything soothing
While I drive into the sunset

Top the speedo, I can’t leave me though
I can’t see through the fear and the **** smoke
Can’t keep the needles in green, no
Everybody, anybody, wanna give me hope
Embrace the anger, take back the rush
They’re not worthy of this much love
All of the shame, the guilt, the blame
You made me feel when I was me though

It’s not right, I shouldn’t fight
All the words I wasted on you
(While you were) just flexing your might
Telling me I’m wrong, with your god, and your flaws
I’d given everything I knew, to try to see your side
I can’t do anything right
You said it a thousand times
Off it already
Just hand me the shovel
The worms will eat good tonight

Desperation of something I longed for
Not knowing I walked through the wrong door
Crouched down in the corner, like a bunny
Locked with the eyes of a condor
Sharp inhale, and a blank stare
If I’m not ‘me’, then I’m not there
Gotta survive though, can’t fight fair
Quick jump, backflip from the blind hare

Out for blood, I can’t say it enough
You can think and pray that you’re tough
Fueled by the words you maliciously sent through
My veins, you cut off my pride for your luck
My thoughts are now clearing up
These seas, they’re not so rough
Little salty though, and a little cold
Better than the fake love from your fake home
Written by
Keenan Anderson  29/M
(29/M)   
76
 
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