I clench my teeth so hard
that I've given myself
a permanent headache
always have an advil
in my back pocket
except I used to chase it
with a tall glass of him
because he was like rain
the kind of downpour
you'd go outside to feel
without an umbrella
opened up your mouth
and looked up to the sky
didn't you feel so alive?
as the water reached
every pore, even the ones
you never knew you had
(but now the rain is gone)
and this was before
we disconnected
my body from your soul
removed the morning dew
from the cold grass
traded evergreens for oaks
droplets for ice
only to realize
a new coast
was not a new life
so now, every time
the clouds form
I think of you
and your rain jacket
when everything feels so heavy,
I miss your light love
the way it trickled
down my face
as your hands trickled
down my spine
didn't you feel so alive?